Never Enough

Somehow, when I started writing this article, I wanted to be able to narrate from beginning to end what it feels like to be a woman in a fiercely competitive industry. I was very focused on myself, my age, my career, my personality… when I realized that maybe everything I felt, the happiness and the anger, the strength and the frustration, the good and the bad, maybe the feelings weren’t so individual, maybe are much more common than I could imagine.

Maybe you can understand me.

It wasn’t long ago that I started my career, although if I think about it, I wouldn’t know exactly when it was. Mainly because I still don’t know where I’m going. I am very sure of what I like and what I don’t like, the fields I want to know more and those from which I have already left. I am also certain that I am not an expert on any subject, far from it, but I know that I know much. I know a lot because I have been lucky enough to live a lot, to learn a lot and to enjoy and suffer a lot, laborally speaking. Therefore, I ask you not to underestimate me.

Don’t also be fooled into: “you have a lot to live left” when I explain to you how distressed and lost I feel in an ocean of opportunities that I don’t take advantage of. Don’t give me the “you’re still very young” when I tell you that I’m looking to make my passion and my hobby my way of life.  Don’t drop the “relax and take your time” when I tell you that I can’t stand it anymore in a place where I have nothing more to learn.

Don’t underestimate me because I’ve seen wonderful projects being born and I’ve seen and understood why they have succeeded or why they haven’t worked. I’ve belonged to teams on huge projects that seemed not to move forward and I’ve been part of start ups that have grown by leaps and bounds after their birth.

I’ve had too many bosses in my life to understand what kind of leader I want to be. I have been part of many teams to know what kind of partner I am and want to be.
I’m someone who knows the strengths and weaknesses of the industry I work in, I know the immense power it has to change facts and make history, to be an agent of change and to fight to destroy barriers, to be the best version of itself, and it’s that industry that I choose to be a part of.

I don’t want to be part of the one that feeds on the underprivileged to continue creating consumption, the one that gives voice to people who seek to deprive others of their freedom. The one that appropriates up to inhuman levels of collective struggle. No.

I will not be part of it.

And because I don’t want that industry, I wake up in the morning and go to work out of my passion, I look for new inspirations and references from which to culture myself, I seek to create. I seek not to stop learning and continue to be an agent of change.

Don’t tell me that I’m young when I talk to you about projects I want to carry out, because don’t doubt for a second that I’ll carry them out. Don’t think either that I will end up bored or frustrated with what I do, because it won’t be that way. I will have low moments, yes, like any other person, but don’t forget that I dedicate myself to what I truly love and most importantly, what I truly believe in.

Don’t tell me then that I’m not qualified, or that my profile doesn’t fit, because it’s just a lie.

So I’m talking to you, who were once told that you weren’t suitable, or that you didn’t fit into their team. Don’t believe them because they really fear you, your desires, your worries, your goals and your projects. They fear not being up to you and not being able to admit it. They fear that you will learn from them and keep flying without them having been able to enjoy you.

They are the ones who fear not being enough.

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